Anxious attachment style dating

25-Sep-2020 18:23

Your need for closeness and intimacy never seems satisfied and you’re left wondering if your partner really wants to be with you.

An anxious attachment results when your parents (or early caregivers) were inconsistent in meeting your needs.

If you’ve got an anxious attachment there are a number of things that you can do in order to have more satisfying relationships.

Suggested reading: How to Stop being so Needy and Dependent by Sharon Martin Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin ***** ©2017 Sharon Martin, LCSW.

In my last post, What’s my Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter?

, I gave you an overview of the three primary attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant) and how attachment styles become the blueprint for our adult romantic relationships.

Securely attached people tend to have happier, longer lasting relationships built on trust.

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You experienced your caregiver as inconsistent or untrustworthy.

Consciously it makes no sense for an anxious and avoidant to connect, but unconsciously this pattern keeps those strongly ingrained internal beliefs about ourselves intact.

In other words, we recreate relationship dynamics similar to those we had with our parents because they’re familiar, reinforce our beliefs about ourselves, and we’re trying to get our needs met in the best ways we know how.

Too much closeness feels vulnerable and suffocating to someone with an avoidant attachment.

They tend to connect and then pull away when the relationship feels too intense.In contrast, if you have an anxious attachment style, you tend to feel insecure and need frequent reassurances.