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13-Feb-2020 02:18
I’d go for a drink that turned into seven (or 12), and then find myself in a two-year relationship with someone I didn’t know that well. But this step—meeting in person—is often softened with a nice red, white, or rosé. Most women I’ve talked to say there’s no way they would, or even could, handle a first date without a drink. Tempted to bolt, I stayed put until my date arrived and then plowed my way through an excruciating two hours of small talk.I yanked myself off Match and e Harmony the second I got home. Shortly after, I read an article which stated that the least appealing online daters were 1) women in my age group, and 2) non-drinkers. To avoid the madness of Bourbon, a pal and I headed to the Maple Leaf Bar on Oak Street, far from the French Quarter, for a performance by piano man Jon Cleary. Near our table, a man dined alone, and smiled at me whenever I looked his way. Intelligent, gorgeous and kind, this man was himself a successful musician, and seriously, seriously interesting.It felt badass to tell the truth, to be that vulnerable, to be totally terrified of what would happen next but to do it anyway.Most people I’ve told this story to-and I tell it often, because it’s my favourite non-drinking story-want to know if he and I kept in touch. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, and now that I am sober I finally know that.He claims to have learned from “renowned pickup artists” but has no means to prove this.His service should be advertised as “how to con a stupid woman into sleeping with your unattractive over confident self”.
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I stumbled out of them, too, using benders of varying lengths not only to numb the sting of the end but also to feel my way to the next beginning.He charges 0 for his “services” and supposedly..men will re-enter the dating world and magically be able to pick up women.Sober and single at 34, I realized that I hadn’t even had a boozeless first kiss with someone since my high-school boyfriend planted a peck on my forehead after we’d talked past midnight on the front step of my family’s bungalow. Ever after, I’d relied on alcohol, that WD40 of social interaction, to grease me into each stage of romance.
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From meeting men all the way to the first (often slurred) “I love you,” I’d long mixed liquor with love.Why anyone would pay to be coached by this guy is beyond me, the last girlfriend he actually managed to hold a relationship down with, was arguably unattractive.
