Dating right after a breakup
Dating, when you feel ready, can be a good way of practicing the new skills you are learning as you acquire awareness about yourself." But go slow."I always tell my clients that even if this is the 'one' and you feel propelled into taking action, please wait four seasons before making big decisions." If you make it through spring, summer, fall, and winter, green light."If all is great in the first three months, it will be deeper and more solid in a year if it’s a good long-term choice." Especially after a breakup, it's best to move like molasses at the beginning so as to not make any bad decisions. "You’ll want to do it differently next time, so understand your part in whatever didn’t work." Once you really have a handle on that, you'll be much better equipped for your next partnership. "If it was an important relationship, you’ll need time to grieve before getting back in the arena," she adds. "You can't bypass the mourning period." As Tessina and other experts suggest, Sansone-Braff stresses the importance of pressing pause, going inward, and feeling it all."Stop distracting with drinking, drugging, dating apps — and just let yourself feel the loss and the sorrow that the ending of a relationship brings," Sansone-Braff says."That's important to keep in mind when you're dating," she adds."Not everyone is going to be in the same place." So be sure not to get too hung up on someone until you're sure that they're really onboard too."Breakups are different, so gauging the best time to date afterwards has a lot to do with the nature of the relationship that broke up," New York–based relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle."If you’re able, it’s better to get through the breakup and learn what you can from the previous relationship, so you’ve grown and learned — and bring that knowledge into a new relationship." That way, you're healthier and ready to enter into a new thing with someone without dragging them into your mourning process."Don't start dating again after a breakup until you are fully engaged in being a receptive dating partner," certified relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca tells Bustle."If your heart is still caught up in the past, it's not fair to a new partner for you to be dating." Even if you think you're ready, solicit outside advice — friends, a trusted listener — to be sure that you really are."A first love break up is a lot different than a two-year romance that ended because it was actually a rebound romance to start." Whatever the case may be, suss it out and see where you stand."You have to really gauge a few things when deciding what time is right for you to start dating," she adds. "Rebound relationships create a lot of heartache when you realize the person you’ve invested in isn’t right — and you didn’t see it from the get-go because you were so invested in replacing what was lost in the breakup that led to the rebound," Masini says.
If you're out there looking for a love fix and you're harboring angry feelings from your last relationship, that's what you're putting out there."If you bring anger, sadness or victimization into a new relationship, "Six months to a year – depending on the length of time that you were dating," author and relationship expert Alexis Nicole White tells Bustle.
In classic life fashion, all of the experts gave a different number.
Really, all of these questions are super legit and hard to really answer without getting expert opinion, which is why I asked 13 experts: When should you hit the dating game again after a breakup?
"When someone asks you out on date after a breakup — whether it’s the first person who asks or the thirtieth — when the right person asks and you say yes, you will know that it’s time to start dating again," he says.
"Nobody says this date has to lead to anything, but the fact that you agreed to go shows that you are moving forward and ready to take on the world again." , tells Bustle.
If you jump too soon, you'll pass up the "opportunity to explore healthy new relationships," she says."Do the inner work first: Work on healing yourself of baggage from any past relationships," Sedacca advises.