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We have a right to know if a potential partner has herpes.But the exact number itself is altogether different. I know enough from the stories she’s told to know that there was more than one guy before me; she knows enough about my past to figure out that she can’t count my lovers on her fingers.Too many men are still raised to see sex as crude competition, in which bedding a woman who has already had a lot of lovers counts less than scoring with a woman who is “hard to get.” But I think the average guy’s worry is simpler than that.The more men his girlfriend has slept with, the greater number of lovers to which she can compare his skills.(One friend of mine recounted to me in horror how her current boyfriend stopped one day in the middle of giving her oral sex to ask how his technique compared.) Other women find that their boyfriends endlessly psychoanalyze the reasons for a number that they think is too high: “Did you sleep with so many men because your father left you when you were a child?” (If I had a dollar for every woman I know who’s been asked that question, I could buy everyone reading this a Slurpee.This has nothing to do, by the way, with asking about sexual health.It’s a great idea to talk about sexually transmitted infections; it’s a great idea for a new couple to get tested before having unprotected sex.
For me, it’s not all about competing with other guys. But again, why is it so important to know an exact number? Knowing whether a potential girlfriend has ever been in love before is important; discovering (slowly and patiently) how her past experiences have impacted her view of men (for better or worse) is important.No wonder so many men—in this country and around the world—are obsessed with finding a virgin.This is the real reason why so many men get so filled with rage at sexually experienced women.♦◊♦ I lost my virginity at 17 to my high-school girlfriend. Beyond that, we—who have shared so much sexually and emotionally in our nine years as a couple, six years as spouses, and two years as parents together—don’t need to know more specifics.
She was a year younger but much more sexually experienced. When we’re in a monogamous relationship, what we have a right to insist on is that no names get added to the list after our own. I’ll be crushed if my wife adds a number six or a 56 behind my back.You’ve sent mass booty call texts before Maybe it wasn’t all the same text, but it was 2 am and you wanted to see who would respond first. You have at least 6 dudes named Ben in your phone Some of them with last names like “1Oak” or “Atlantic City Boardwalk.” “Dope” One Piece, Rhinestone Choker Necklace, JAHOLAN White Marble Case 3. It might be after 2 wine bottles to the face, but sometimes you still feel like you miss him.. You also tend to hook up with guys that look like your ex Of course you don’t realize this until people start telling you that your new boy toy is practically your ex’s fraternal twin.. You have dudes in every state (or at least the tri-state area) Going on spring break?