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19-Mar-2020 00:00

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You know the ones: ‘Looking to leave the single market before the UK does.’ ‘I’ve got plenty of suits so I make a great 1 for weddings.’ ‘“Five stars!

” – my mum.’ You might think you’re coming across as a great wit, but really all you’re saying is ‘I’m so boring I had to google what to put in my dating app bio.’ Excuses about online dating ‘Can’t believe I’m on here.’ It’s nearly 2020, love, we’re all on here.

In any case, judging by all the men on dating sites who seem convinced that they’re well over six foot, the numbers count for little.

According to the Office for National Statistics, the average height for a man in the UK is five foot nine – so unless tall men are somehow more predisposed to use dating apps than the rest of the population, a lot of people are being rather liberal with the tape measure.

In the US, OKCupid compared people’s heights on their profiles to height distribution across the country, and concluded that both men and women exaggerate by about two inches.

Perhaps more important than what to put on your dating profile is what to avoid.

There’s nothing more disheartening than swiping through profile after profile and coming across the same cringeworthy bios again and again.

Victoria Turk is a senior editor at WIRED, where she edits the culture section of the print magazine, leads video strategy, and writes regularly for print and web.