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*Editor’s note: Names of some of the interviewees have been changed for privacy.

Valerie Gibson, author of Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, is all too familiar with this double standard. They were absolutely horrified that older women should be having sex with younger men.”When many of us think “cougar,” we picture the ultimate cougar of the big screen: The Graduate’s legendary, martini-sipping Mrs. These days, real-life cougars are stars like Demi Moore (who, in her 40s, married then-twenty-something heartthrob Ashton Kutcher), the coiffed reality-show cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County, and, yes, everyday women — suburbanites and city-slickers alike.

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Smith figured it comes down to science: “It probably has something to do with the concentration of the species on procreation,” she quipped.

She knows that experience has taught you to do the right things and make the right decisions. Success means money, prestige, stability and sometimes fame. He smiles more often and is generally in a good mood.