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And she sent me this scathing review of him: “He’s a 34-year-old man. He brought over a sleepover bag with earplugs.” Two hours later she writes, “I’m so sorry, he texted me back. One guy said, “Let’s meet at Starbucks at 8 or 9 at night.” She said, “First of all there isn’t a Starbucks anywhere near me. 1 is blue suits, high heels, taxicabs, trying to get ahead in the corporate world. ” Ninety-five percent of men would be happy to have a woman ask them out. I open my presents and then go to my desk while other people are dancing, cooking, exercising. In the ’90s we had seen a lot of urbanization, and a lot of folks were starting to move away from their family homes. It became more difficult for parents to identify the right matches for their kids.
How did you tell people to be less picky diplomatically? I have the same League profile in New York and San Francisco. They ask a lot of questions about exes, whether their ex is on the League. Our grandparents were the first generation to start marrying for love. You’d be surprised how many ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend photos we see. When you live in a small community, everybody knows everybody, and if you’re not compatible with anybody in that community, it is a challenge. There was a girl from Ohio State, and she was into horses. It began to occur to me that it’s not recklessness, it’s caution. We’ve extended the period of getting to know someone. If there’s this long period of pre-commitment, you can get rid of relationships you don’t want before you marry. What’s something compelling you learned from last year’s survey? These days you get to know somebody quite a bit before the first date.
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