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So, as an observer of your own internal experience, you would then communicate that to your partner.
But I would suggest you do so from the perspective of a neutral or curious witness, rather than as a judge. This technique can encourage the couple to discuss what’s going on with them in a sensitive way.
I direct each person within the couple to turn inward, directing their attention to the present, felt experience, and to explore a positive or negative reaction to that experience within their body. It could be that the heart is palpitating, a shortness of breath, tummy getting tight, or the onset of a headache.
I call these “the somatic experiences,” which are part of body awareness.
First of all, it has to be consensual—a co-constructive experience for them to explore as a couple. And the other partner would study what occurred automatically in response to the trigger.So if you’re working with a couple, each one is aware that the other is undergoing this kind of process? I’ll have each member of the couple go inward and focus by themselves first.Then I direct them, as a couple, to be an observer of each other.Art Nouveau antiques blend harmoniously with stone Buddhas, crystals and a large grey cat—aptly named Mr.
Grey—who roams the premises with an air of lordly, if benign, proprietorship.
Mindfulness is central to her clinical work, and to her own life.